Serpent Sales : An Intro to My Chile Vacation

Snake wrangling with the Snake in Chile.

Snake wrangling with the Snake in Chile.

My boy Sergio from UM grad school, AKA The Snake, has been telling me about his fathers homeland of Santiago, Chile for some time now. He always used to interrupt our intense discussions on UM football, the hunt for breezys, and the next Miami throw down, to break in with his tales of the beauty of Chile and the Chilean women. We always gave an obligatory head nod, and continued rapping on our more pressing issues…like say for example, Monties happy hour this Friday.
Stock Photo of Monties Happy Hour....The Bear makes his move.

Stock Photo of Monties Happy Hour....The Bear makes his move.

The fact of the matter is none of us ever left the borders of South Beach in search of a party, club and/or a gaggle of hot women. That would be like us leaving the beach to go find sand…..SOBE is stocked full of all of that sh*zz man! Some of us haven’t left the country; ever! On top of that our crew all work heavy full-times and travel funds and free time are limited as is; Nobody is leaving the cozy confines of South Florida to pay a $1000+ dollar plane ticket to fly for 9 hours to go to some South American country not named Brazil. Cause we all know the heat that “Brazilian Beach” (3rd & Ocean) brings to the table!

In any case…. Serg had to make a “last minute” trip to Chile to be with his dying grandfather. So what if he booked it 2 months beforehand…. He told me he was going about a week before and asked if I wanted to go. I took a pass. Funds are superlow on the fact that I haven’t worked in the New Year. Plus my Godfather had died back home and I had to fly up there for the services. So while I was in Philly freezing my ass off, the Snake was prepping for his first weekend back in the motherland.

UM vs. UNC in Coral Gables - Damn we could have stole one!

UM vs. UNC in Coral Gables - Damn we could have stole one!

When I came back to FLA, I drove down to catch the UNC-Miami game in Coral Gables (close loss, damn). And what do you know; the tire on the hoopty sprung a leak and we almost died on I-95 South! Good thing I had my boy Lihn H. riding shotgun or else we would have never made that game. Needless to say, I had to drop $200 more on tires before we rode back up to Orlando.

About halfway back and after a good 1:45 hrs of me bitching about my tires, I get this blocked number blowing up the berry. Typically I don’t answer calls like that, but in this case I was expecting some work type calls. I answer. In a serpent type tone, Serg gives me the pitch of a lifetime from Santiago, Chile. Feeling depressed, slumping and broke, I say F it! I got enough money and the time for a vacation. Hook sinker and liner; I was in for Chile….If I could find the right ticket.

As soon as I got back to the Internet, I went on my preferred travel site,, and typed in Mia/Orlando/Tampa to Santiago and hit search. What cost the snake about $1200 two months back was now sitting in front of me on the screen for a hefty discount. $737. Destiny? Maybe. Green Light? Yes! I like to party! Two Days later I am in Santiago, Chile. And just in time for the world’s biggest latin music festival! Look out for Part II.


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